A million thank you's

We are working on thank you cards for the wedding and honeymoon. It's a big job. We're nowhere near done. But it's amazing how much we have to be grateful for, and you just can't complain about that.

A couple of you heard me say this: the wedding was a seriously humbling experience for me. I spent months doing everything within my power to make sure all the details would be taken care of, and then we got there the day before and saw all the things we HADN'T managed to take care of, and it was terrifying. Suddenly it's not humanly possible to be in control anymore, and whatever is going to happen, will happen. It's a great big "trust fall" exercise. I remember feeling very exposed -- everyone's about to show up and see the good, the bad, and the ugly, and I just have to let go and let them see.

And then it just came together. People started jumping in and dealing with all those loose ends for us, frequently without our even knowing it. The folks we had asked to help did amazing jobs and a whole lot of folks we hadn't asked did too. By breakfast time on the day of the ceremony, I was able to just pay attention to being a bride and let all the other stuff happen without me. When I was sitting alone, ready, waiting for Twink to come tell me it's time for the procession, I cried, able to just sit there and be overwhelmed with how happy I was. And a huge part of that was gratitude that this wonderful crowd of friends and family had pulled together and given us the gift of this day.

It was a hell of a gift. It was a great big fabulous party and it will always be one of the best days of my life. Looking at the pictures makes me all giddy all over again. (And yes, photos will be online soon...)

When I was in the receiving line after the ceremony, hugging everyone, I remember feeling kind of silly that the only words I seemed to be able to come up with were "Thank you." If you thought to wonder whether other people got more words out of me than you did -- probably not. It's not that there weren't lots of other things to be said. But I was so full of "Thank you" I just couldn't think of anything else.